April 1st Message From Leslie (Not An April Fool Joke...)

Anne [Cobbledick Gritzer] - everything is turned on its head now.  Back into the hospital in Sacramento on Wed morning (March 28) through yesterday evening, and then was transported by ambulance from there to my home.  The ambulance was necessary because "on board" the vehicle with me was the personal pain dispenser machine, that allows me to dose myself with morphine every six minutes as needed (in addition to the "regular" 90 mg of tablet morphine every 8 hours).  The Federal Drug Enforcement Administration won't allow this pain medication to be moved from one location to another unless accompanied by the right kind of folks, I guess ...

The chemo I've been on for six months has stopped being effective, the only alternative kind of chemo has much worse side effects, the worse of which feels like the one where I feel like my throat is closing and that's I'm going to choke to death, and that "new" treatment would only (if I'm lucky) extend my life by a couple of months at best.  Horrible side effects loaded on top of the ones I already have suffered with the "old" chemo, continued rides (and me no longer able to get to and from places on my own), and my complete and total exhaustion from the blood clots that have now killed off 1/3 of my spleen -- add it all together, and it's time to put my affairs in order (not just a half-way, jackass way of being prepared) and get ready for the solution to the life-long mystery ...

Time for 90 mg's of morphine and bed, followed by more of the same.  If you'd like to send this out to folks or post to the Team Leslie Blog, that would be fine with me. 

Love,

Leslie