Anne [Cobbledick Gritzer] - everything is turned on its head now. Back into the hospital in Sacramento
The chemo I've been on for six months has stopped being effective, the only alternative kind of chemo has much worse side effects, the worse of which feels like the one where I feel like my throat is closing and that's I'm going to choke to death, and that "new" treatment would only (if I'm lucky) extend my life by a couple of months at best. Horrible side effects loaded on top of the ones I already have suffered with the "old" chemo, continued rides (and me no longer able to get to and from places on my own), and my complete and total exhaustion from the blood clots that have now killed off 1/3 of my spleen -- add it all together, and it's time to put my affairs in order (not just a half-way, jackass way of being prepared) and get ready for the solution to the life-long mystery ...
Time for 90 mg's of morphine and bed, followed by more of the same. If you'd like to send this out to folks or post to the Team Leslie Blog, that would be fine with me.
The chemo I've been on for six months has stopped being effective, the only alternative kind of chemo has much worse side effects, the worse of which feels like the one where I feel like my throat is closing and that's I'm going to choke to death, and that "new" treatment would only (if I'm lucky) extend my life by a couple of months at best. Horrible side effects loaded on top of the ones I already have suffered with the "old" chemo, continued rides (and me no longer able to get to and from places on my own), and my complete and total exhaustion from the blood clots that have now killed off 1/3 of my spleen -- add it all together, and it's time to put my affairs in order (not just a half-way, jackass way of being prepared) and get ready for the solution to the life-long mystery ...
Time for 90 mg's of morphine and bed, followed by more of the same. If you'd like to send this out to folks or post to the Team Leslie Blog, that would be fine with me.
Love,
Leslie
Leslie
From Gayle Gates Rich:
ReplyDeleteI am deeply saddened to hear about Leslie. I knew her only as a "classmate" not as a friend. I know she is wonderful...I always liked her from afar. Tears are falling as I write to you. I am so sorry that Leslie has had to endure so much pain with her treatments. The blog is wonderful and all those involved who give her so much love, laughter, and deep kindness are very very special.
I have a very dear girlfriend presently going through rigorous cancer treatments and I know very well second hand what is involved in this journey for a devoted friend. All we can do is live each day we have with truth, love, and laughter in honor of all those we have loved who died too soon.
From Diego Estol:
ReplyDeleteDear Leslie and All,
Thanks for keeping us all up to date with everybody's affairs, good or
bad but always sharing -- with you, Leslie, we always had a special
feeling, during school years, the first girl I met in Piedmont, whose
first question was if "I was a Latin Lover", I remember as if yesterday
the talks we had during those years and the sharing of dilemmas. That is
life, sharing the good and the bad so as to unveil the mysteries of
life so we can confront our challenges with a peacefull mind. Dear
Leslie, we are close to you, and I wish you the best in whatever......
do not feel alone, my soul will be beside you, holding your hand in your
future footsteps. My love to you, to your family and the good friends
that cherish frank friendship. Hasta siempre we will meet again in the
future. Love to you, Diego
This is very strange, I wrote something last night and now I cannot find it. And here I thought I was techno savvy? Go figure! So, I will try again.
ReplyDeleteDearest Les, you know that you are in my thoughts and prayers every single day. As we discussed, or rather I told you... the difference you have made in my life and the lives of others has been incredible. You have touched so many through your wisdom, humor, and the daily practices of living. There is nothing more that anyone can ask of a human being than to have made the journey of life and left a positive finger print on that which they have touched. Thank you my friend. I love you dearly. Judy
Dear Leslie,
ReplyDeleteWe had a lot of fun times in High School, and I've enjoyed talking to you at several of the reunions.
It seems suddenly that several of my friends and relatives have gotten cancer, and I've gotten a glimpse of terrible suffering both it and the treatment for it have caused.
I've always seen you as a very upbeat person. I wish for you a miracle occuring, and it goes into remission.
Love,Redge
Dear Leslie,
ReplyDeleteWords just don't say what I feel...I can only cry, send love, and wish you much grace on your journey.
Kamie
Dear Leslie,
ReplyDeleteI am trusting that you are smiling as our various classmates check in with messages of encouragement and gratitude for the person who you are. You have been the point of integration and inspiration for so many of us, not only with your vision for the recent reunion but with your life. Know, now, that you have "taken the hill" and have fulfilled in every respect the charter of Micah 6:8 - "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." If the time is approaching for you to drop your pack, do so in the confidence that you have earned the "Well Done" to which we all aspire. Thank you, Leslie. We are standing with you and holding you close to our hearts.
Love,
Cliff
Very well said, Cliff, on this Good Friday.
DeleteMore comments that have come via email (edited for brevity, but not for feeling):
ReplyDeleteLeslie's spirit is a model for us. I feel for all her good friends and loved ones and am sad that such a vibrant person is leaving us and the world.
-Ruth Duncan
================
...Thank you for keeping us all informed about Leslie. I haven't wanted to bother her but I do want her to know that my thoughts are with her. She and I didn't know each other well in high school. It was only later that we had some really enjoyable interactions. Leslie is blessed to have such good friends as she moves into this next phase - I feel very lucky to have known her.
-Sue Nutter McCormack
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Thank you to everyone who has kept us updated. My prayers are with Leslie, Bill and all of their families and friends. I know how difficult this is having recently gone through it in my own family.
-Anne Roeth Adair
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I also appreciate the updates... I am grateful to those who have written and put into words what we are all feeling right now....love and support for Leslie and her family and the pain already beginning for the eventual loss of one who has brought such joy to so many for all her life.
-Chris Schweitzer Ruppe
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I share Chris' feelings!...We all love you Leslie and are praying!!
-Don and Sherry Mulford
Dear Leslie,
ReplyDeleteIt is Easter Sunday and many of us around the world are celebrating today—and that is just as it should be. And Kim and I and our little family are no different. And yet today, on this joyful and holy day of celebration, it all takes on added and special meaning for me. And that is because I am also celebrating you, my dear Leslie, on this fine day and always…
You are an awesome and powerful energy part of so many lives and I know you know that. And we are all quite the better for it and doing our loving best to express that to you—and doing so admirably, I think, on the Team Leslie Blog and in other ways each day. It is such a tremendous testament to your being an über-presence in so many lives around you. And in return, your circle of support is here for you today and every day to come on this painful life journey that you are presently on. And that gift of support will clearly be there always for you—and for eternity.
Thank you for your fierce independence. Your grace and love of life. Your bawdy and always “bigger than life” sense of humor and spot-on timing. Your proud politics (“Go, Obama!”) and your other and many fine passions in life…those special things that have really mattered to you. Thank you for setting the fine example that you serve for the world to see on how to be a good wife, lover and life partner to Bill…the brilliant daughter, sibling, and aunt that you have been to Margie, Tom, Shelley, Jim, David and the rest of your fine extended family…the partner you have always been with God and his community…the wonderful friends you have amassed in your great life to date and, lastly, for being one hell of a “Torch of the Highlands”—a bright and always shining light—to your Piedmont High School friends both far and near.
I love you, my dear pal, and will forever sing your praises…you will never be forgotten and will always be near to my heart.
God bless you this Easter and in the days to come. And thank you for always finding those teachable moments to make me a better person and for the great privilege of knowing and loving you…
BoBo